As humans, the amount of differing issues which can occur are insurmountable. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders V lists fetishistic disorder under “paraphilic” and only lists it as gaining sexual arousal from inanimate objects or objects or body parts not associated with “normal” sexual areas. However, there is debate surrounding this and also from my own experience with clients, this has not strictly been the case. Our preferences or fetishes only become and issue when the fantasies, urges, or behaviors cause distress, or impairment in functioning.
For most, the onset is caused by what is termed as “operant” or “classical” conditioning. A link created between an object, situation, action and sexual arousal, usually at a young age but this is not necessarily always the case.
There is a link with hypersexuality disorders – put simply, compulsion or addiction to the object, act, situation sometimes in the form of sex addiction, fetish addiction, porn addiction or any other number of compulsive behaviours. There can also be a transference from one compulsion or addiction to another and as one wains, the other increases with a continual need for a level of stimulation or excitement.
The common issues surrounding fetishistic behaviors can be when it interferes with normal sexual interaction, daily life or routines, finances or has a direct impact on family or associate relationships. For many people, they have to engage in their preference privately as partners may not be willing to be included and there can also be an increase of anticipatory excitement and risk if engaged in without others knowledge. Unfortunately, this can increase risk of relationship breakdown if found out, which can also be part of the arousal, or for many I worked with in the past, a fear that their partner would not understand or judge them, causing potential relationship breakdown. It be be a stressful and precarious position instead of the pleasurable one in some situations.
There is also the issue of potential harm to self and others with some fetishes or preferences, These are usually evaluated by the individual and are consensual, but if they become detrimental or harmful outside of the agreed parameters, consequences can be profound.
For all of these issues, for all of the diagnostics and criteria of a fetish, it is only when you decide that your preference is impacting on your life in a negative way that you might chose to seek assistance. From a behaviorist intervention approach IE cognitive behavioural therapy, the therapy only focuses on the displayed symptoms and uses a type of desensitisation to reduce the compulsion. Our approach comes from a cognitivist approach, where the mental processes behind the behaviour (or root cause) are discovered and the trigger ascertained from there along with a strategy to reduce “need” rather than the satisfaction and create a choice giving you an option to continue or deist. Simply put, management without stress.